Religion Desk

The family is the first school in human life, and parents are the first teachers in that school. In the family, children do not only learn language, manners, or lifestyle; they also learn the fundamental values of justice, love, and morality. Therefore, the way parents treat their children has a profound impact on their psychological development. In Islam, maintaining fairness among children is not only a moral virtue but also an important responsibility and trust.

In the Holy Qur’an, Allah says:
“Indeed, Allah commands justice and excellence.”
(Surah An-Nahl, 16:90)

This command of justice begins within the family. When parents establish fairness among their children, peace and affection flourish in the household.

This principle is clearly illustrated in a well-known hadith narrated by Nu‘man ibn Bashir (RA). He reported that his father once gave him a special gift. His mother insisted that the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) be made a witness to the gift. When his father mentioned it to the Prophet (PBUH), the Prophet asked, “Have you given the same gift to all your children?” When he replied that he had not, the Prophet said:

“Fear Allah and treat your children equally.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 2587)

This hadith reveals an important truth: favoritism among children can plant the seeds of conflict within a family. Often, a child who performs well academically receives more praise and attention, while a weaker child may be neglected. Sometimes the elder child is given more importance because of responsibility, while the younger one receives excessive affection. Such behavior can create feelings of hurt, inferiority, and distance among siblings.

These differences become even more noticeable during special occasions such as Eid, birthdays, or family celebrations.

For example, if a father buys an expensive dress or a mobile phone for his elder son on Eid but brings a simple gift for the younger one, it may appear trivial to adults. However, in the tender heart of a child, such actions can leave deep emotional marks. The child may think, “Perhaps I am not as important to my parents.” Over time, such feelings can replace love with resentment.

Fairness is also essential in showing affection. Constantly praising one child while criticizing another is not just. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) set a remarkable example of kindness toward children. He showed love and compassion to them and said:

“He who does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 5997)

Equality is also important in providing educational opportunities and life support. Enrolling one child in a good school while neglecting another, or supporting one child’s dreams while ignoring another’s ambitions, can create a sense of inequality. Every child is a trust from Allah, and each has unique potential, dreams, and abilities that deserve encouragement and support.

Islam teaches parents to maintain justice and balance among their children. This does not necessarily mean that everything must be exactly identical. Rather, the essential point is that no child should feel neglected or deprived. True equality lies in fairness in love, attention, prayers, and opportunities.

Therefore, responsible Muslim parents should remain mindful of their behavior. Whether it is Eid gifts, daily affection, educational opportunities, or other aspects of life, maintaining fairness among children is essential. Justice practiced within the family ultimately contributes to building a just society.

Finally, we must remember that children are not only a source of joy in this world but also a test for us in the hereafter. Treating them fairly means obeying Allah’s command and nurturing a peaceful and loving family. And in a family where justice and equality prevail, the joy of Eid becomes genuine, and love remains pure and lasting.

May Allah grant us all the ability to treat our children with fairness and compassion.